Bathroom Issues

So today was a day of bathroom issues for Miss Caroline.

I’m just throwing that out there right up front for the slightly squeamish so that they can move right along….

But for either the sickeningly curious, fellow Mommies who care to share my pain, or those in the mood for a good laugh – follow me.

Let me set the stage by telling you that my sweet Caroline Renee is now 3-1/2 and pretty much thinks she can live on her own.  My help is a nuisance she doesn’t need and many times a day I am told “Mommy get out of here – Don’t look at me”.  That is also a signal that she is doing something she shouldn’t do and since she isn’t totally smart enough to hide it outright, she basically tells me to get lost so that she can continue her bad behavior.

Issue #1 today was #2 (I’ll try to keep the gross factor down here but remember – you were warned!)  The rule is that she calls for help because even though she thinks she can do it all on her own (see above paragraph) – she can’t.  Grant comes downstairs in a huff about something in the bathroom upstairs, Caroline, yada yada and one step in there told me the entire story.  After said #2, instead of calling me she slid on off the seat (Exhibit A).  She then wiped herself, evidenced by the massive amount of paper in the unflushed potty.  To a trained eye, the elapsed time here is estimated at no less than an hour.  After what she considered a successful paper job, she proceeds to sit bare bum on the ground (Exhibit B) to begin putting on the panties (Exhibit C) and pants.  When confronted, she gives her usual sweet faced “Sorry Mommy” and I commence to cleaning up Exhibits A, B & C.

Issue #2 – #1

Fast forward to bedtime.  We changed into pj’s early so that we could all snuggle for a movie.  Again, this was all done by Miss Caroline alone in her room at her request (read: demand).  After a 2 hour movie I am carrying her to bed and she looks up at me with that face that I would do about anything for and says:

“I’m sorry I pee peed all over the floor Mommy.”  {Gasp}

“When did you do that, Honey?”

“When I got my jammies on.”  {Gasp – several hours ago}

“But it was on the tile” {Whew} “and I cleaned it up” {Huh?}

I proceed to find a pile of wet pants and panties in the closet.  A double check of the tile floor showed that all was well (but since this is the same floor as Issue #1 it will be getting the big scrub down tomorrow!)  We had a long talk about telling Mommy about these things – don’t try to cover – blah, blah, blah and while I am tucking her in I hear my inner Mommy voice urging me to open the little vanity drawer in her bathroom that looks slightly ajar.  And what do I find in there, you ask?  Why, a totally sopping wet washcloth full of pee!  AND – it is laying very neatly on top of 2 headbands, 1 hair scrunchy and a nightlight that are now all out in the big green can.


So there you go — a day in the life!

And next time you check in on my blog and don’t see an update in forever just envision that I am not just laying around eating bon bons….I am probably dealing with something like the above mentioned or worse.

But don’t kid yourself – I’m still loving every minute of it.

Published in: on January 30, 2010 at 10:11 pm  Leave a Comment  

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